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Joke of the Day

"I was very impressed by this child's witch costume. Until I realised she was just an ugly midget in a black dress."

"Change is inevitable... Unless you go to a vending machine."

"I don't get why some girls don't make airplane noises before putting their tampons in"

"I used to date computer programs but that's over now My girlfriend still worries that I may go back but I reply to her ""they're just exes """

"What do you get when you put human DNA in a monkey? A lifetime ban from the Zoo"

"Did you hear Monica Lewinski is in town? I saw her going down on Clinton! (most towns/cities have a Clinton St.)"

"A pony walks into a bar and in a soft and raspy voice says to the bartender, Gimme a beer. The bartender says, Sure buddy, sounds like you got a cough. The pony replies, I'm a little hoarse."

"Damn boy! What's your zodiac sign? Bc I think we should make that Sagittariuu into SagittariUS Oh you're a Leo? Le OH ..where are you going?"

"What do you get when you combine a Christmas tree with an iPad? A pineapple"

"I totally had gender with a girl. #thesaurus"