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Joke of the Day

"Last night, my sexy Japanese friend asked me out for dinner. ""Hey, you wanna go for sushi? It's on me."" It's funny 'cause I paid the bill."

"In honor of To Set A Watchmen coming out soon, what would Harper Lee's book be called if she was Mexican? Tequila Mockingbird."

"When I pay for my groceries and the cashier hands me the receipt I like to smile and say ""this will all be poop soon""."

"Sometimes I really want to throw paper at people. Brick shaped Paper. Made of brick."

"What is the difference between Digg and Reddit? People can Voat."

"A cop stops a drunk man and asks ""how high are you?"" The man replies. ""That is wrong English. You should say 'Hi how are you?'"""

"""I stalk people you've probably never heard of"" -hipster stalker"

"What do you call someone who hates people without toes and can't have ice cream? Lack-toes intolerant"

"*eats half a pan of brownies while making salad for dinner*"

"Which dinosaur will never be discovered? The Clitaurus"