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Joke of the Day

"In honor of To Set A Watchmen coming out soon, what would Harper Lee's book be called if she was Mexican? Tequila Mockingbird."

"If pulled over, immediately ask the officer if they've been drinking in order to establish dominance."

"Fiddy bucks Jewish girl walks up to her Jewish dad and says, ""Can I borrow fifty dollars?"" He responds, ""Fourty dollars? What do you need twenty dollars for?"""

"No thanks, alcohol free mouthwash, my life is depressing enough."

"Bill Gates How does Bill Gates fix a broken lightbulb? He buys a new house."

"What do you call a blonde standing on her hands? A brunette with bad breath."

"Q: How do you get a blond out of a tree? A: Wave"

"You can tell a lot about someone by the tank top they wear. For instance, if they wear a tank top, they're probably a dick."

"Did you hear about the guy who kept fucking cheerios? He was a cereal rapist"

"Yo mama's so fat... ...when she died, she had to be preserved in formalda-wide. She then had to be whipped creamated. If she wasn't, they would have had to given her an open-graveyard funeral."