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Joke of the Day
"How'd your trip on the Titanic go? Swimmingly."
Next Joke
"Thanks for telling me this is your ""pet cat"" because otherwise I might have thought it was your business associate cat."
"I have ebola. AMA"
"What animal has exactly 12 grams of carbon? A mole"
"Saw a hawk swoop down over the highway and fly off with a snake in his mouth and I can't even switch lanes while eating a Twizzler."
"Are you an old person? Because I would love to give you a stroke!"
"The Ghostbusters are women?! This totally compromises the integrity of a story about battling evil marshmallows while dressed like a janitor"
"Google+ is the gym of social networking. We all join, but nobody actually uses it."
"Glad my name's not Dan. Too much pressure to be the man."
"You know what they say when you go black.... ....you're raising that kid by yourself."