192018

Joke of the Day

"You know why the Baptists don't make love standing up? They don't want people to think they're dancing. Not my joke cheech marins I'm high as Fuck and thought you guys might like it too."

"What do baseball teams and muffins have in common? They both rely on a good *batter*"

"No matter how hard you push the envelope it's still stationary. thanks dad!"

"Butt-sex is a lot like spinach... If you're forced to have it as a child, you won't enjoy it as an adult. -Daniel Tosh"

"Why did the semen cross the road? I put on the wrong sock this morning."

"Jesus saves! Because he shops at Walmart"

"BREAKING NEWS: NASA announces Mars Rover discovered new feline-like life form on the Red Planet Unfortunately, it ran over the newly discovered creature. Yes, it seems Curiosity killed the cat."

"What's the shortest book ever written? French War Heroes."

"Nike just announced it will now be using robots instead of children to make shoes Unfortunately, the robots will be made by children."

""" Let me be perfectly clear"" - My Aquarium"