191933

Joke of the Day

"What do you call Charlie Sheen's brother if he were a financial advisor? Emilio Investevez. Fun game/running joke friends in college used to play. Wondering if Reddit would enjoy the game too."

"I tried really hard to make a punny italian joke. but it was impastable"

"How do you tell if someone is a metalhead, pot-smoker or pro-gay? They never shut up about it! :D"

"What do a walrus and a zip-lock bag have in common? They're both looking for a tight seal."

"What do you call a Battlefront without EA? Bttlfront"

"Women need security -when I'm around."

"My girlfriend said she was cutting off sex for a while. I told her that is fine, we will just have more rape."

"My wife said to me, ""Would you rather have sex with Angelina Jolie or Mila Kunis?"" I said, ""Yes."""

"So Tiger will be back for The Masters? I was really hoping he'd wait until The Player's Championship. The man's comedic timing is terrible."

"How do you know if your girlfriend is ticklish? You give her a test-tickle."