19181

Joke of the Day

"Rey should really make herself a new lightsaber. The one she has now has 100% hand loss rate. \\\_()_/ "

"The biggest problem with stupid people is that they don't know they're fcuking stupid."

"What do you call an Italian with one arm? Speech impaired."

"I just had to clean all the windows in my house. What a pane in the glass that was."

"Hi, I'd like a salamus sandwich, please. ""You mean salami?"" No, just a single salamus. ""People who make Latin jokes are a bunch of ani."""

"if potheads are lazy then why did I just go to my car to get a lighter?"

"I saw a really nasty wreck on the way to work this morning... ...wish I had had time to pick her up."

"I accidentally touched the underside of a public toilet seat with my finger. Well, you had a good run, finger. *chainsaw sound*"

"If the car behind me honks while waiting for my parking space at the mall, I turn off my car and visibly start a rubik's cube."

"What do California zombies eat? Graaaiiins."