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Joke of the Day
"I just had to clean all the windows in my house. What a pane in the glass that was."
Next Joke
"If you say the words 'beer can' in a British accent, it sounds like you're saying 'bacon' in a Jamaican accent."
"Celebrities are called stars because they're hot, not very bright, unattainable and destined to eventually collapse into a black hole."
"I got the chance to watch a women's final for beach volleyball last night... What a semi!!"
"Why are lumberjacks bad at online video games? Because their connections are so weak they are always logging out."
"How to beat depression: 1) Talk to someone 2) When that person says ""just cheer up,"" beat that person with a baseball bat."
"In regards to those who lost a loved one to the Air Asia flight disaster... Don't worry there are plenty of fish in the sea. (Too soon?)"
"When do vampires bite you? On Wincedays."
"I took my child to work almost ten months ago, people. Is there seriously not a Take Your Child Back Home Day?"
"Take my advice I'm not using it."