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Joke of the Day

"""Daddy, I was just in the bathroom peeing, nothing else. That's all, so you don't need to look."" - my 6yo, not sounding at all suspicious"

Next Joke
 
"Why didn't they let Voldermort play quidditch? ...because he'd always just Slytherin the grass."
"""SURPRISE!!!!"" - Every girl with drawn-on eyebrows."
"I realize I misspelled a word in my last Tweet. On that note I'm about to eat a Famous Anus cookie."
"I like telling people to ""grow up"" because even if they hate me I can visit them ten years later and say ""Took my advice I see"""
"Why did the USA bomb the kebab shop? Because there was a rumor they were harboring free radicals."
"I hate when girls have ""taken"" in their bio like that movie wasn't even that good"
"How does an elephant hide in the jungle? It paints its balls red and climbs up a cherry tree. What's the loudest noise in the jungle? A giraffe eating cherries."
"An xbox and a ps4 were attacked .. here comes the ambulance WII U WII U WII U"
"What do you call a God unfit for the times at hand? O Cristor Redundant"