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Joke of the Day

"It's claimed Macaulay Culkin's health problems are linked to a difficult childhood. No sh1t. His parents forgot to take him on holiday 4 times"

"High-Speed Rail in the US."

"Beached whale Today I got in trouble at work for throwing water on a lady... I just thought that's what your suppose to do for a beached whale"

"My bucket list. 1. Buy bucket."

"Why do lesbians like Sports Authority so much? Because they hate Dick's!"

"Someone stole my coffee cup from work today. Just off down the police station now to look at a few mug shots."

"My kids constantly yell at me whenever I try take their pictures, and I tell 'em: ""You're gonna need them in 20 years for your Throw Back Thursdays updates""..... whatever!!"

"Why should you not visit the Ukraine with your fly unzipped? Because if you don't, Chernobyl fall out!"

"What you call a pre-op MtF transsexual who visits another city? A tourist trap."

"Did you hear about the new bolt the apple company made? The eye bolt"