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Joke of the Day

"Beached whale Today I got in trouble at work for throwing water on a lady... I just thought that's what your suppose to do for a beached whale"

"What's the key to long lasting Relationships? Not breaking up"

"I would think you'd have to be open minded... ...to be a brain surgeon."

"Why do bakers work so hard? Because they knead the dough."

"What's the difference between an Afghani Military Base and a Pakistani Elementary School? I don't know, I just fly the drone."

"*spends 4 hours applying sunscreen to kids *kids play outside for 7 minutes"

"Empowered women"

"Math joke: Why do so many math majors confuse Halloween and Christmas? Because Oct 31 is Dec 25"

"My friend told me that I didn't know the meaning of the word ""ironic""... ...which was ironic, because we were at the train station."

"What if Bane's mask was really just a cool, elaborate electronic cigarette?"