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Joke of the Day

"Q: Did you hear the one about the fruit on trial? A: It was judged by a jury of his pears."

"The *real* reason Hitler lost the war. He forgot to put speed limits on his highways so the enemy vehicles could drive as fast as they wanted to."

"what is the hardest part about having a daughter in your early 20's? Fighting all of those physically fit teenagers when you're in your late 30's."

"Did you hear Ben and Jerry's are naming a flavor in honor of Jerry Sandusky? They are calling it Raspberry Turnover"

"Good night cop: Want the light on or off? Sweet dreams kiddo. Bad night cop: You will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep."

"Did you Hear About the Paper Joke? It was tear-ible"

"What do you get if you steamroll a crab and a Korean at the same time? A crustacean :D :D"

"I hope this guy at the urinal next to me can see that I'm checking Twitter and not taking pictures."

"masquerade I went to a masquerade wearing nothing but roller-skates. I went as a pull toy."

"When is a door not a door? When it's a jar!"