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Joke of the Day

"I think i'm bisexual... Every time I want sex I have to buy it."

"It's weird to think there was a time when the most data a tablet could hold was five commandments."

"How do you know if an Italian person is mute? When you see he has no hands."

"Why am I scared of french pastry chefs? They give me the crepes."

"My mom just got me off of work early. I love when she comes by the office. *Literally just happened"

"How to Avoid Condom Accident The Perfect System To Avoid Condom Accident, Use Double Condom With Chilly Powder In Between, If Outer Breaks She Will Know , If Inner Breaks U Will Know."

"What's worse than two babies in a dumpster? A baby in two dumpsters."

"It's actually easy to spell Connecticut if you think Apple are creating a brand new self-harming app. Connect-iCut."

"I punched a drug addict in the face. I guess I beat the crack outta him. (The best joke I have ever made up.)"

"My therapist told me to I need to learn to love myself... That would be settling, though- I can do better than that piece of crap!"