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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a girl ant who claims she can see the future .... .... clairvoyant"

"My wife said ""vase"" wrong so I corrected her and now we know that it can just barely fit over my head."

"It only takes 3 inches to please a woman And it doesn't matter if it's Visa, MasterCard, or American Express."

"A roger you say? My hot Chinese neighbour told me she was desperate for a roger. It was only when I'd dropped my pants and got my cock out that I realised she meant someone to rent her spare room."

"This year for Lent, I'm giving up"

"*Lying in hospital Doctor)Your back is broken in 6 places. You may never walk again Me)At least I got all the groceries in one trip"

"Beauty is only a light switch away. That is all."

"What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One's a Goodyear, the other's a great year."

"I was furious when I found my wife's profile on an on-line dating website. That lying bitch isn't, ""Fun to be around."""

"What newspaper do cows read? The Daily Moos."