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Joke of the Day

"Are you from Iraq? Cause i wanna see you Baghdad ass up."

"I sexually identify as an invisible dad. I'm trans-parent."

"A woman says: I'm hot. Lets turn on the Air Conditioner"

"Nine out of ten men prefer women with big breasts... the tenth man prefers the other nine."

"ME: Raising two kids on my own has been a real struggle. WIFE: I'm only gone for two days. ME: They call me momdad now, which is bittersweet"

"How do you drown a hipster? Drag him into the mainstream."

"So I heard the workers in the Twin Towers tried to have chocolate delivered to them by drone. Asking for an Air Kraft wasn't one of their better ideas."

"My son and his friends are great ... They always spray the house with air freshener before I get home"

"What was Hitler's favorite kind of juice? Concentrated."

"My girlfriend's daughter was laying across my legs. Me: What am I a pillow now? Her: Yep, and pillows don't talk. I think we're bonding."