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Joke of the Day

"What was Hitler's favorite kind of juice? Concentrated."

"Kid: ... Me: ... Kid: ... Me: ... Kid: ... Me: ... Kid: I just wanted to see you. [4:07 am]"

"Maybe money can't buy Happy but it can probably buy Dopey at a good price."

"When I refer to old relatives passing away I never say ""RIP"" because I don't wants them to rest. I want them to Zumba."

"Stevie Wonder is having triplets at the age of 64. I bet he didn't see that coming..."

"Why doesn't Rihanna smoke weed anymore? Because she's taken enough hits."

"Wouldn't exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?"

"I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious. Nobody saw me. Anthony Jeselnik."

"What's the hardest thing about finding a dead baby on the beach? Hiding the erection."

"Fact: It is against league rules for an NFL player to own a pet duck. It's considered a personal fowl."