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Joke of the Day

"Do you know why Bernie Sanders has gotten as much sex as he's had? Because he doesn't care about position!"

"How Did Harry Potter Get Down The Hill? Walking. Jk Rowling."

"Contrary to popular belief, it's actually the fat that makes you look fat. It was never the dress"

"It's cray that I totes obvi say perf and adorbz on the regs"

"A statistician walks up to a girl in the bar Guy: You're the most average girl out here. Girl: Hey, you're mean! Guy: No, you are."

"Why are gay men so well dressed? ~~7~~ They didn't spend all that time in the *closet* doing nothing!"

"Does this cubicle make me look dead inside?"

"For all of us singles out there... Happy Ballantine's day!!"

"Where do pigs park their cars? A porking lot."

"Niagara Falls A guide was showing Niagara-Falls to a man from Texas and said; I'll bet you don't have anything like this in Texas. The Texan said; nope, but in Texas we have plumbers who can fix it."