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Joke of the Day

"""Yeah, well your dog isn't a rescue, your snacks are processed and everyone knows you're vaccinated"" - how a kid talks shit in 2015"

"Some people might think being a gay man with a foot long dick is a good thing But it's just a huge pain in the ass for my boyfriend."

"What did the two oceans say to each other Nothing.. They waved."

"What do you call a scientific measuring instrument with degrees? A graduated cylinder. -------------------------------------------------------------------- This is the only joke I've ever thought of."

"So a cannibal walks into a hospital delivery room And the doctor says, ""can I help you??"" The cannibal says, ""I'll have what she's having."""

"When I see someone texting and driving I swerve my car into them and try to run them off the road cause texting and driving is illegal."

"Why did the prostitute get a vagina implanted in her hip? She wanted to make some money on the side."

"My rich uncle just passed away so I recently came into some money But now the bills are all stuck together"

"What's black and white and red all over? Police brutality."

"Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware party? To find a tight seal."