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Joke of the Day

"Why did the Ottoman empire collapse? Once your stack of Ottomans gets to a certain height it will fall over."

"Knock Knock *Knock Knock.* Who's there? *This bagel is for.* This bagel is for who? *Whom. This bagel is for whom.*"

"A rule for myself that's worked my entire life: when you hear the garage door open, put your penis away."

"Just googled ""who is Gossip Girl?"" and swear I heard my mom whisper ""you're one of us now."""

"What do you call it when you lease false teeth? A dental rental."

"I really need to find a boyfriend. Guy at poker table was like ""This is my girlfriend, Kayla,"" and I was like, ""This is my sandwich, Ham."""

"I asked my dog if he'd ever heard of Pavlov He said, ""I can't say for sure, but the name rings a bell."""

"What did the baby corn say to the momma corn? Where's pop corn?"

"If William Shatner and Jason David Frank is in the same scene together... Who gets the close up?"

"GOD: did u eat from the tree of knowledge? ADAM: no...it was my girlfriend GOD: who? ADAM: u don't know her she goes to a different school"