191349
Joke of the Day
"So he left. We don't serve your kind here, says the bartender. A tachyon walks into a bar."
Next Joke
"I just left my job... Me: I couldn't work for that man after what he said to me. Friend: What did he say? Me: ""You're fired""."
"Girls : ""Do I look fat?"" A girl asked a high-school boy, ""Do I look fat?"" The boy replied, ""Where?"" [teenage]"
"Me: ""Bless me father, it's been 13,505 days since my last confession."" Priest: ""You're off to a bad start."""
"Accountants have the toughest job in Afghanistan because of the tally ban."
"[robbing Whole Foods] ""All the cash in a bag NOW!"" 100% organic reusable bag ok? ""Yes!"" [puts half the cash] I had to charge for the bag"
"I've counted 8 people so far whose New Years resolutions include ""loose weight"". Can I add spelling to your list too?"
"That if you love them set them free thing, what if they all come back at once"
"Apparently being poor is genetic, my son loves bologna and thinks pants are optional."
"Why don't emus ever finish all the food on their plates? They don't want to be ostrich-sized!"