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Joke of the Day
"Kelloggs is introducing a new Game of Thrones inspired breakfast cereal. Oberyn Crunch."
Next Joke
"I once snuck my cat into a grocery store just to show him what a lazy hunter I am."
"Sorry for the absence, my tweeties. My hubs and kids cooked their own dinner, and I've been unfreezing hell with a blowtorch ever since."
"What did the scientist say when he stubbed his toe? Flourine Uranium Carbon Potassium."
"ME: A bag of my favorite peanuts has gone missing. LIAM NEESON: How did you get this number?"
"First day on the new job, Boss says ""We're going to give a drug test"" and I said ""Great, I know all about drugs."""
"Are you from Heaven? Because you look like you just died"
"Can you spell a pretty girl with two letters? QT (cutey)."
"I'm so anti-social, my misery loathes company."
"A guy really wants to make it in Hollywood.. So he starts cleaning his room desperately. His mate: ""What are you doing man?"" Him: "" I am dusting off man.."""