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Joke of the Day

"What does a blonde have if her brain is the size of a pea. Encephalitis, and possibly a medical miracle."

"As you take another breath, someone takes their last. Stop complaining; appreciate life."

"Before we got married I caught her in my arms. Now I catch her in my pockets."

"Those who say there is no such thing as a stupid question have obviously never worked in tech support..;)"

"My friends and I got so high in Amsterdam that we went to a local store and stole a couple of bags of ice.... We took them down to the canal and released them back into the wild."

"My Vietnamese friends just got married. They have the same common last name, so neither of them needed to change anything. You could say it's a Nguyen-Nguyen situation."

"What's the difference between Windows 95 and a virus? A virus does something."

"I just named my whiskey ""Titanic"" because it goes down better with ice."

"Congress always makes me feel nostalgic for college when I waited for the last minute to do shitty work and blame anyone but myself."

"Why did the alien phone home on his mobile? Because it was so ET !"