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Joke of the Day

"Why are marines who can't swim better? They defend the ship with way more enthusiasm."

"Why did Waldo only wear stripes? Because he didn't want to be spotted."

"The worst things in life are free, too. Like, gonorrhea, chapped elbows and flyers left on your windshield."

"4 gay guys walk into a bar... They find that there is only one barstool, the ponder for a second, until one says, ""why don't we just flip it over?"" (Sorry if its a repost)"

"""Are you smarter than a 5th grader?"" Me: ""Sometimes?"" ""Are you smarter than a 16 year old?"" Me: ""Always."""

"The sergeant-major growled at the young soldier, ""I didn't see you at camouflage training this morning."" ""Thank you very much, sir."""

"Why are valley girls so odd? They can't even."

"Just thought this one up: What do Jay Leno and Payton Manning have in common? They both know when it's time to turn things over."

"I fan speak a little French I'd like to bon appetit (bone a petite) Edit: can not fan"

"Life just isn't fair sometimes. Woman can sell it but men can't even give it away."