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Joke of the Day

"If I had a pound for every girl that told me I was unattractive, they'd eventually find me attractive."

"[first date] Me: so u just wanna poke ur straw thru that little hole Her: I know how juice boxes work Mom: well isn't she a feisty one?"

"Finding other gay guys is a lot like trying to find a job Your only option is looking online and it's almost impossible to get anything good."

"Why do people who like bondage shy away from anonymous one-night stands? There's no strings attached."

"eer booze and fun!' 'Remember an alcoholic & a drunk are not the same thing at all. The alcoholic has to attend meetings."

"I wish my grass was emo..... So it would cut itself"

"Are you a rollercoaster? *motions hands to be about a foot long* cuz im this tall to ride"

"Doctor says I need to see a chiropractor for my back pain... I said ""Are you nuts? I don't have time to go to Egypt!"""

"According to my family tree I'm the sap."

"I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say ""Hey look...that one is shaped like an idiot""."