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Joke of the Day
"I wish my grass was emo..... So it would cut itself"
Next Joke
"I'm ""I lost my car in a parking lot"" years old *clicks alarm, clicks alarm* *silence* Am I even in the right parking lot?"
"I consider myself to be a ""political atheist"" because I don't believe anything politicians say."
"A new zoo opened up in my town, but it only has one dog. It's a shih tzu"
"If any of you ladies want pancakes for breakfast, just come over....you can make them here, because I want some too"
"I tried to do stand up comedy Didn't work so well since I'm in a wheelchair."
"I don't sign anything without pretending to read it first."
"Bored? Find group photo of 4 women on Instagram. Comment ""You 3 look incredible!!"""
"Hi, I'd like to order a baby ""Excuse me?"" It says here you deliver babies? ""Sir this is a hospital"" [vampire quickly hangs up phone]"
"I've just accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles... My next shit could spell disaster!"