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Joke of the Day

"Why aren't fish good tennis players? They don't like getting close to the net!"

"*pulls up pants* Me: It feels like I've got the world's worst wedgie! Proctologist: That's normal. M: ... P: Hey... Have you seen my glove?"

"In Heaven Me: I can't believe how much stuff the Bible got wrong Gid: You idiots couldn't even get my Giddamn name right"

"I went to a Japanese restaurant and the noodles were disgusting. I guess you could say they were stone cold soba."

"What did UK say while leaving? It's not EU, it's me"

"""He's gone too far."" ""He crossed the line between science & ethics."" ""He's playing God."" -reaction to the amount of cheese I put in omelets"

"There are three types of people in this world Those who can count And those who cannot count"

"What was Hitler's least favorite sauce? Jus"

"A Higgs Boson particle walks into a church... ""You can't be here"" says the pastor The Higgs Boson particle responds ""But with out me, how can you have mass?!"""

"Not to sound like a badass or anything but I completed this puzzle I got in a hour... The box said 2-4 years."