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Joke of the Day

"I went to a Japanese restaurant and the noodles were disgusting. I guess you could say they were stone cold soba."

"Lawyers are safe company to have for girls. They will be concerned about Your Honour more than their own."

"I'll always remember the day my wife said ""yes"" to my proposal. And I'll never forget that it was the last thing we ever agreed on."

"What did the Indian guy say to his mother before he left for his nearest city? ""Mumbai"""

"*interrupts friends* ""u gotta hear this tweet..Ok.."" *realizes tweet starts with 'action asterisks' & doesnt know how to read that out loud*"

"People who make up phrases and try to pass them off as popular sayings are just throwing meat to the monkeys in the middle of a maelstrom."

"Tip of the day: When there's a will...find a way to be in it!"

"Joke: Where did AT&T get their 2007 slogan? Ireland: More bars in more places"

"Found in a bar in Charleston... What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean. * rim shot *"

"Me: What do you call sex in December? Wife: Don't say it. Me: ... W: ... Me: Wintercourse. W: (to judge) See this is why I need a divorce."