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Joke of the Day

"What grocery store does Charlie Sheen frequently visit? Rite Aid"

"Just heard that distinct ""baby fell out of the crib and into a pizza that was on the floor"" sound"

"I have great muscle memory I totally remember when I was in shape."

"-What are you drinking, son? -Soy milk. -Hola milk, soy tu padre. Edit : Removed the ""es"" that was bothering everyone"

"TIL how to keep an idiot waiting I'll let you know tomorrow."

"I told a deer joke once. It was very fawny."

"Last week, I told my grandpa that Amazon is the best place for Christmas shopping. He just called me from Brazil."

"Did you guys ever prank your passed out friend by putting his hand in a bowl of warm water and then dropping a tiny toaster in it?"

"If I have offended you, hurt you, belittled you in any manner, then I want you to know that I was only just getting started."

"A priest and a rabi are on a walk together when the pass a schoolyard with children playing in it. The priest says, ""Should we fuck them?"" The rabi says ""Out of what?"""