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Joke of the Day

"What did Captain Kirk do when his girlfriend told him she had a defecation fetish? William Shat-on-her"

"I saw Tom Hanks today so I asked him for his autograph. He just wrote Thanks."

"After a disappointing summer, Humpty Dumpty ended up having a great fall."

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irish person? None."

"My husband had to sign a form stating he understands his mother's cremation is nonreversible. I weep for our species."

"Knock knock. Whose there? Doctor. Doctor who? Oh. You watch that show too?"

"The boy was having trouble learning about computer memory. He kept forgetting everything."

"Try toasting... It raises your spirits."

"Can we PLEASE... stop beating a dead gorilla."

"What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off ;)"