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Joke of the Day

"Paddy goes to court for armed robbery! The jury foreman comes out and announced ""Not Guilty"" ""That's Grand"", shouted Paddy! ""Does that mean I can keep the money?"""

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"A photon is going through airport security... The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage. The photon says, ""No, I'm traveling light."""
"There are a lot of female hormones in beer. When I drink five bottles I also can't drive a car and start behaving illogically."
"Yes I get laid because I'm an illusionist. But I don't use ""magic"" or ""tricks"" on women. They respect my skills & choose to make love with m"
"Science confirm that humans can ingest deadly poison or even molten lava. Once"
"What do you call a Latina with varicose veins? Vein-a-swellin'."
"I'd tell you a joke about thorium... But it would be quite shocking."
"Fool me once... Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thirty five thousand six hundred times, shame on the weatherman."
"I'm straight but not ""get my alibi"" straight."
"I now determine the days of the week based on Twitter. Is it Follow Friday yet?"