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Joke of the Day

"Brought a stapler to a gun fight and now everyone is neatly organized into piles of corpses and sorted by height. The police will be pleased"

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"Whats the difference between a USB and the USA? One has standards."
"What's Sarah Palin's favorite thing to do in the summertime? Parah Salin."
"I've just bought a transparent megaphone. Now everyone can hear me loud and clear."
"Have you ever had sex in the woods? Its fucking in tents!"
"I ran three miles today! Finally I said, ""Lady, take your purse."""
"What did San Andreas said to the Earthquake? This is all your fault!"
"I love milk... It's got lots of cowcium."
"The thing about ice skating ... No matter how good you are, the hardest part is always your nipples."
"What does a train full of grain's whistle sound like? ""COUS, COUS!!!"""