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Joke of the Day

"Brought a stapler to a gun fight and now everyone is neatly organized into piles of corpses and sorted by height. The police will be pleased"

"A man falls over and lands on a globe. He heads to the doctors. The doctor asks what's wrong. ""I've got this spain in my arsehole."""

"My Poem to you Roses are 0xff0000 Violets are 0x0000ff return(SUCCESS);"

"Keep clam. I'm dyslexic."

"A pakistani cabbie called me a racist I didn't say a word and left the cab. Because you don't negotiate with terrorists"

"You Tolkien to me?!"" - Hobbit de Niro."

"What's your favorite terraria boss? Mine is the enderdragon"

"If there was a competition for saggy tits, my wife would beat everyone. In fact, she'd wipe the floor with them."

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm a python You can't get round me just like that you know!"

"What happened when the husband tried to deep fry his wife? She went to the battered women's shelter"