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Joke of the Day

"What I Say To 7: ""This is just between us"" What 7 Hears: ""Tell Mom everything and please embellish it to make it sound 100 times worse"""

"Told my dad I had sex with a girl who had HIV. He asked if I was positive."

"What's the difference between a shi-tzu and a community organizer? Zu."

"Food just tastes better upside-down 1. upside-down cake 2. hamburgers 3. not cereal tho 4. oh no cereal is everywhere 5. why did I do this"

"What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a toddler? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window."

"I thought reverse psychology was when.. you made your therapist cry"

"A cop pulled me over and said 'papers' I said 'scissors' and drove off. I win."

"What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre Didn't go over too well in r/pics."

"the elevator business is great It has its ups and downs"

"They say 1in every 3 people cheat in a relationship. I'm not sure if its my wife or my girlfriend."