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Joke of the Day

"Food just tastes better upside-down 1. upside-down cake 2. hamburgers 3. not cereal tho 4. oh no cereal is everywhere 5. why did I do this"

"A Buddhist goes to the hot dog vendor... And says, ""Make me one with everything."" Giving him a fifty, the Buddhist asks for the change and the vendor replies, ""Change comes from within."""

"Mercurian day So - apparently one day on Mercury is an agonisingly long 1408 earth hours long... In other words - one Earth Monday."

"What do you call a cow with no right legs? Lean beef."

"I have someone I want you meet - how is she? - she full - ehh... - of love - great! - to food - ..."

"I'm building an exercise machine for Ray and Dave Davies. I'm still working out the kinks."

"I won't undo a retweet in case someone finds it offensive. I just knit them onto pillows and give them as Christmas gifts."

"Soon we'll all have to sign an apartment lease, sign up for electricity, and water, and cable, and school didn't teach any of this."

"What do you call three crows? A crowd."

"What did the DNA say to the other DNA? ""Do these genes make me look fat?"""