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Joke of the Day
"My sex life is like a Ferrari I don't have one :("
Next Joke
"When the nun comes around to collect the offerings, I shell out a handful of change and a cucumber then give her a wink and a thumbs up."
"I love paying full retail for a game and not have all the content available. Said no one ever"
"Why was Jon walking backwards on the first day of school? Everyone kept saying it was back to school time."
"What's the difference between the England football team and a teabag? The teabag stays longer in the cup."
"I thought about another woman while having sex with my wife so to make up for it... I thought of my wife while having sex with another woman."
"I've always thought chicken breasts just come from female chickens, but it turns out they come from males as well. I suppose that means that I've literally eaten a ton of cock in my life."
"Me: And the award for the most awesome daddy goes to...? *6 blinks M: The most awesome daddy award goes to...? *6 blinks M: 6: Luke's dad?"
"Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face."
"My friend told me my mustache makes me looks like Jeffery Dahmer. I said, ""Thanks. I've always wanted a killer stache."""