190649

Joke of the Day

"Skipped the gym today to go to McDonald's. The bus did not come back, so I had to walk 2 miles home. Well played, universe."

"How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Give her a basketball, and tell her to read it."

"Why was Heisenberg's wife unhappy? Whenever he had the energy, he didn't have the time."

"Yeah, I knew Shakespeare in college. Typical neck bard."

"What was the blacksmith's slogan? ""Shop here! You'll be Gladius you did!"""

"Every time my friend plays with his xbox... She is left thinking that they are getting back together."

"Violently swerving ur car will not throw a spider off the window. Doesnt work like it does with humans. Just in case u need to know."

"Is your refrigerator running?? Because I might vote for it."

"lawyer: ""my client claims the altercation began because - and i quote - ""he came at me sideways"" crab: ""in my defence.."""

"How come Barbie never got pregnant? Because Ken always came in another box."