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Joke of the Day
"How come Barbie never got pregnant? Because Ken always came in another box."
Next Joke
"I voted for Jill Stein Finally I'm part of the 1%"
"I went to the Gym and the power went out. I whispered, ""thank you baby jesus"" and left."
"What do rednecks do on halloween? Pumpkin"
"[at my date's front door] wait, so you've known i was a koala the whole time? ""yeah"" [me clinging to her arm slowly eating a leaf] how tho?"
"When I get naked in the bathroom... the shower gets turned on."
"Me: If that baby won't stop crying I'm walking out & going to another restaurant. Gf: You used to do that too. Me: that was months ago."
"How do you stop a taliban tank ? Shoot the Guy Pushing it"
"Sometimes i feel like the flat bread option at subway because I'm always available but no one ever wants me to hang out with"
"Hans Zimmer was inspired by one composer in particular when writing the Inception soundtrack... Brahms"