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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between rape and vehicular manslaughter? It's harder to eat a plate of ribs during a rape."

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"Psych visit A guys shows up at a psychiatrist's office nude, wrapped in celophane. The doctor says, ""I can clearly see you're nuts""."
"[awful tragedy happens] me (rolling up sleeves): time to be an idiot online"
"What wood doesn't float? Natalie Wood."
"Kids today will never know the horror that would come from seeing a payphone start ringing suddenly in the middle of the night."
"When a cop pulls you over, never start a sentence with, ""This may be the alcohol talking, but..."" Trust me on this one."
"Donald Trump is such a good salesman he could sell ice to the Eskimos. Which will come in handy considering his policies on global warming."
"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea. I wouldn't pay $300 to let a lentil on my face."
"007 is fired, becomes a scientist. He opens meetings with, ""The name's Bond, Hydrogen Bond."" Everyone laughs. He cries in the supply closet."
"""i am trapped in a loveless marriage help me obi-wan you're my only hope"" ""use divorce, luke"""
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