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Joke of the Day

"My friend thinks he is smart ! My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face."

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"Why can't you run in a campground? Because you ran: It's past tents. I'll show myself out."
"How much Norris? (Tongue twister) How much Norris could Chuck Norris chuck, if Chuck Norris could chuck Norris?"
"Original (Dad's) pun: Sticks float. They would."
"A man goes to the library... and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says, ""Fuck off, you won't bring it back."""
"will you marry me? no, marry Christmas!"
"Why does Donald Trump dislike Bernie Sanders? Chickens tend to avoid anything with the last name ""Sanders""."
"They say masturbation makes you blind.... I don't see any problem with it."
"The secret to making a good egg is the way you ap-poach it. *a man in the audience has a stroke and dies from being so angry at this joke*"
"Why keyboards... Why keyboards don't sleep? Because they have two shifts!"
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