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Joke of the Day

"Original (Dad's) pun: Sticks float. They would."

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"I always thought I should be a comedian... ... because growing up my parents always told me I was a fucking joke."
"Why doesn't Ted Cruz like doing laundry? Because he always fucks up the delegates."
"I remember my first crush..: Orange."
"The World's Shortest Joke - Jimmy Carr Dwarf shortage"
"You have to be careful when telling rape jokes... You never know who got buthurt"
"What do you call a blind german? A not see"
"How many telemarketers does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but they have to do it during dinner."
"What do a good bar and a woman have in common? Liquor in the front, poker in the back."
"Explosive Opportunity A British engineer started his own business in Afghanistan. He's making landmines that look like prayer mats. He says that prophets are going through the roof."