92009
Joke of the Day
"What did one tooth say to the other? Get your cap on the dentist is taking us out tonight."
Next Joke
"I want to start a subreddit to help people with Erectile Dysfunction... ..but I'm having trouble getting it up. ^*cringe*"
"Women are just like an oven before you stick any cake batter in them, you have to preheat."
"1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance ... The 5 stages of buying petrol."
"Dear God, when I said six zeros salary, I didn't mean only zeros."
"What's the difference between a hockey player and a hippy chick? A hockey player showers after 3 periods."
"I text back embarrassingly fast or three days later there is no in-between."
"[meeting her parents] GF (whispering): Please don't make a scene ME (angry-whispering): You told me there'd be cheese"
"Money can buy happiness. Give me 100 million dollars and I'll prove it to you."
"Pretty rude of you to have a crush on someone else when I've done absolutely nothing to show I'm attracted to you."