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Joke of the Day

"Her: Wanna ""lex"" tonight? Him: What's that? Her: Lazy sex. Him: What do we do? Her: Lay in bed and send each other Huffington Post articles."

"*wakes up from a 10 year coma, pretends to be asleep for an extra 5 minutes*"

"My prison name If I ever went to prison, my prison name would be The Mitochondria, because I'll be the powerhouse of the cells."

"What's the hardest thing about rollerblading? Telling your parents you're gay."

"This part of the joke is called the setup. This part is not."

"Do you NOT like Undertale? Then you must be UNDER the crowd!"

"I think they picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!"

"What do you call the deaf man with no limbs? Whatever you want."

"How do you keep a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe."

"I am allergic to fire Everytime I touch it I get burned"