13880

Joke of the Day

"Damn girl are you Schrodinger's cat cos you're in a box and all these nerds are talking about you? Sir have some respect this is a funeral."

"I like my beer like I like my violence... Domestic"

"What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet."

"The device will work much better, if you turn it on."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Who cares! More bacon for me."

"Potato is like Soviet rape. Not come everyday, but fill you up when is come."

"Why do midgets giggle when running through a field? The grass tickles their balls as they run."

"What do you call a monkey in a minefield? BABOOM!!"

"Why does the Little Mermaid wear seashells for a bra? Because B-shells are too small and D-shells are too big!"

"If I were gonna give advice about how to survive leaving your phone at home, it would be this: stare at something else. I chose a weird baby"