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Joke of the Day

"Damn girl are you Schrodinger's cat cos you're in a box and all these nerds are talking about you? Sir have some respect this is a funeral."

"Doctor: Ted, you're dying, Patient: My name's not Ted. Doctor (checking clipboard): Linda, you're pregnant."

"A feminist walks into a bar Just kidding she couldn't fit through the doorway"

"Grandpa...why is there a suppository in your ear? Oh... THAT's where my hearing aid went!"

"Back in my day invincibility cheats used to be called God Mode. 90 kid's will understand."

"A sloth was robbed by 2 turtles Sloth robbed by 2 turtles. Cop asks if he could describe the assailants. Sloth replies, ""It all happened so fast."""

"How do programmers like their snacks? Byte-sized."

"Why is Ireland the richest country in the world? Because the capital is always Dublin."

"What does a Drake fan with AIDS get tattooed on his back? If you're reading this it's too late."

"""He's more scared of you than you are of him"" - Girl coaching her friend into talking to me"