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Joke of the Day
"You know what really grinds my gears? I'll see myself out"
Next Joke
"I can't wait until humans move to a new planet and someone says, 'Remember having 24-hour days?' and some jerk responds, 'First world problems.' -Geoffrey Asmus"
"Nothing's says I'm guilty of every crime imaginable quite like using your blinker to pull into your driveway..."
"I can't spell armugedon... But it's not the end of the world."
"What's the difference between a knife and an argument with a girl. The knife has a point"
"Sorry I conned your kid out of their Chuck E Cheese tickets. Maybe try not raising a sucker. Now excuse me, I have a sweet toy to play with."
"I was in a band that played nothing but pirate shanty covers of Sex Pistols songs... We call ourselves ""The Fuck Muskets"""
"What do you call an explosion in a Frencg kitchen? Linoleum Blown-apart."
"whats orange and black and hates lasagna? A picky eater wearing a Garfield costume."
"Green day is playing on the only two alternative rock stations in my neighborhood... There is no alternative."