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Joke of the Day

"Uh oh, someone is heading this way and it looks like they want to talk to me *flops to the ground like a toy in Toy Story*"

"What's a pigs favorite morning tv show ? Morning Ham"

"Q: What's a tongue twister? A: When your tang gets all tongueled up."

"*throws keys at nearest sober person* DRIVE ME HOME PEASANT"

"I hate when I'm singing and some idiot thinks they can join in with me... this is not Glee."

"How do know if the person that you have just met is a DJ? They will tell you."

"Why does the Pope always win at chess? He has so many Bishops!"

"Growing a beard comes from laziness. If you ladies think that's sexy I have some laundry on my bedroom floor that'll turn you on."

"I knew that wouldn't flush when I ate it."

"What's Sean Connery's favorite sport and when does he play it? Tennish"