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Joke of the Day

"What's easier to pick up the heavier it gets? Women."

"The other night I went out on a blind date Well it didn't start out that way, she had mace."

"So Isaac Newton sits under a coconut tree..."

"You know, not all Italians are in the mafia. Some are in the Witness Protection Program."

"JOKE: How does a woman go about inventing a lightbulb? She gives birth to a son."

"Which two farm animals are the dirtiest? Brown chicken brown cow.."

"I'm reenacting the War of 1812 with 47 gummy bears so I think the Ambien has finally kicked in. Casualties have been immense... & delicious"

"""You do realize it's a crime to lie in court, right?"" *I think for a moment and then move my hands closer together*"

"When the devil loses hair There will be hell toupee"

"Why did the computer programmer get stuck in the shower forever? Because the instructions on the shampoo bottle said to ""1. Lather 2. Rinse 3. Repeat"""