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Joke of the Day

"Why did the computer programmer get stuck in the shower forever? Because the instructions on the shampoo bottle said to ""1. Lather 2. Rinse 3. Repeat"""

"What do you call a sad coffee? Depresso"

"Las Vegas Floor Show What is the difference between a circus side show and a Las Vegas floor show? One has a cunning array of stunts the other has a stunning array of cunts."

"[high school reunion] Amanda: wow, you haven't changed a bit me: [covered in acne and wearing faded Pokemon shirt]: yeah I know"

"There is a new breakfast cereal for impotent men Nuttin' Raisin Honey"

"Why is divorce so expensive? ... because it's worth it."

"A man walks up to a woman at a bar... ""Hey baby, how about tonight we try the 68 position?"" ""What's that?"" ""You give me a blowjob, and I'll owe you 1"""

"I don't drink and drive..... I only drink at stop signs and red lights."

"Did you hear about the new Vietnamese cookbook? It's called ""101 ways to wok your dog"""

"Q: what did one ass cheek say to the other? A: together we can stop this shit"