19988

Joke of the Day

"""You do realize it's a crime to lie in court, right?"" *I think for a moment and then move my hands closer together*"

Next Joke
 
"Wife: Maybe its time for ""the talk"" Me: Ok. Son, cops can't bust you for the drugs you've done, just the drugs you have. Her: Not that talk!"
"Me: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Me: When you fell from a really high distance. Dating as an atheist is hard."
"Why shouldn't happy people hang out with crustaceans? They get crabby! Badum tsss."
"Trees are really rude They're always throwing shade!"
"2Pac - Lyric King, Eazy - Gangsta King, Biggie: Flow King Dre: Beat King Eminem: Rhyme King, Lil Wayne & Jay - Z - ..... Burger King"
"We get about 25 screaming 5 yr old little girls together to scream nonstop at terrorists, BOOM, we win the War on Terror!"
"Interviewer: what would you say is your biggest weakness? Me: *high pitched mocking voice* what would you say is your biggest weakness?"
"Did you hear about the steering-wheel belt? It's driving me nuts"
"I was yelled at after church today, Apparently ""Jeez and crackers"" is not an appropriate name for the Eucharist."