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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why do ducks have flat webbed feet? A: To stomp out forest fires."

"*lives in a crumbling democracy on a slow terrible decline* hellll yes who just got two green lights in a row"

"Why did the cowboy buy a Dachshund To get a long little doggy"

"If The Dark Side Of The Moon had tracks 3 and 5 removed The album would be timeless, but there wouldn't be any money in it."

"Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common? A: They both have black roots."

"I park in the farthest spot possible at the gym for the added benefit of eating my croissan'wich without being judged by people walking by."

"Did you hear about the rich rabbit? He was a millionhare!"

"Looking at cows in a field, how can you tell which one's on holiday? It's the one with the wee calf. (Think Scottish)"

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Well it don't matter i ain't coming anyway!"

"What do you call your disabled study-buddy? Your cerebral pal-sy."