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Joke of the Day

"I was addicted to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around."

"if you are getting circumcised you have to throw the foreskin in the garbage immediately otherwise seagulls will come and try to take it"

"if u think ur house is haunted get a cat. whooshing sound? it's the cat. hear footsteps? def the cat. unseen being devouring your soul? cat."

"I tattooed the word ""WINNER"" on my forehead in case I meet anyone new and they have any doubts"

"What you gon' do with all that junk? All that junk inside your trunk? I'ma get get get get you a Neti Pot - a concerned vet to an elephant"

"Why do pill bottles have cotton in them? To remind blacks in America that they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers."

"My wife just dropped her keys & said ""What's WRONG with me?"" & I named 6 things before I realized it was a rhetorical question."

"What is the difference between an elephant and a flea? An elephant can have fleas but a flea can't have elephants !"

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? THATS NOT FUNNY (must yell it)"

"My dad is really good at playing hide n' seek! It's been 12 years since we started and I still haven't found him!"