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Joke of the Day

"Knock knock? Who's there? 9/11 Knock knock? Who's there? 9/11. 9/11 who? You said you would never forget... :("

"((speaking too close to the microphone at press conference)I have never watched a single episode of the Teletubbies. They look like fools"

"That awkward moment when your date says she has a hair piece but later you find out she was saying herpes."

"Dry erase boards are remarkable!"

"My iPhone could say that I have a voicemail from God and I still wouldn't listen to it."

"double negatives what is the greatest double negative/oxymoron of all time? A happy Marriage"

"Why did Trump refuse the debate with Bernie? Because chickens tend to run from people with a last name of Sanders."

"That awkward moment when sluts hate on other sluts for being sluts."

"*gets down on one knee* Wow, you really suck. Why can't you be more like the other knee?"

"What does socialism smell like? It has a Bernie smell."